秒词邦

原文：

2024年高考，落下帷幕。

　　但高考的影子，在此后的人生里并不会消失。

　　比如我，那么多年过去，我还是会梦见高考，梦见高考前的艰辛，梦见考场上的焦虑。

　　高中老师发的照片场景似曾相识：雨后的树荫道，穿着熟悉校服的高一二学生齐站两侧，抻开大红色横幅，为中间举旗跑过的高三学子加油打气。

　　表姐发她的两个孩子读书和写作业的照片，配文是“努力就会有收获！”孩子们分别念小学和幼儿园，每天都有不知哪里来的作业，周末也都要上四五节课外补习班。表姐常常发这样的朋友圈，配文无一例外围绕几个关键词：“努力”“加油”。既是给孩子打气，也是给她自己打气。

　　要知道，当一个非北上广中产区的普通母亲决定“鸡娃”，最大的挑战是她自己的体力。

　　双语要从小抓起，即便学校不教，家长也必须有意识。每天一首古诗词，积少成多。外教布置的作业不仅是给孩子，也是给家长的。要多培养技能，即便以后不能指望学业有成，终身学习的习惯和兴趣的发展更重要。

　　作为一个紧跟时代潮流的85后妈妈，表姐深知鼓励式教育的益处。她善于发现孩子们的优点，也善于在适当时候给予奖励和肯定——尤其是当肉眼可见的努力带来好成绩的时候。

表姐深知鼓励式教育的益处 / 《小欢喜》剧照

　　好成绩在可预见的轨道里是必需品。摆在前头的，是十多年后可能面临的中考分流，更多年后可能面临的没有大学上。就在前几天，转做志愿指导的考研名师张雪峰还在一场演讲上铿锵地说：“现在中考比高考难！”

　　关关难过。世界在流动，除了从新的游戏规则里设法找到自我价值，人没有别的自洽方式。但不变的是，任何阶段都要努力，普通家庭的孩子仍然不能放弃这句真理的诱惑：“努力不一定有收获，但不努力一定没有收获”。

　　在我家里，“努力”是代代相传的黄金信条。那是一种别无选择且被经验无数次验证过的信条，通过努力过上好日子，买房、送子女出国留学，这些都是母辈们不断实践过的。近十年来，一个鲜活的例子是我，一个沉默且稳定、省钱且省心地考上名校的好学生。

　　就在前几天，高考前夕，母亲鬼使神差地翻出一些旧照片，是当年我的高考成绩和录取通知书，镜头摇晃，对焦不清，仿佛在极为激动的情绪下拍摄。她对自己的珍视无比自豪：“我都保留着呢”。

　　高考距我已经是快十年前的事了，但脑海里还是残余太多场景不似梦境，而是宛如昨日鲜活：每天给自己布置的至少三套新鲜的真题卷；无数个靠雀巢罐装代替午休的中午；十分钟内解决的一顿午饭；坐在座位上用面包牛奶代替晚餐的三年傍晚；从未给自己周末和节假日的三年；还有千余个夜色未褪的校园清晨。寒来暑往，三年融成一天，其实从未真正远去。

　　我当年所在的高中是全省最好的中学，环境秀丽，有山有水，上床下桌，食堂丰富。从宿舍走到教学区能走二十分钟，中间有长长的坡道，左侧是人烟寂寥的图书馆大楼，右侧是全校最大的操场。三年，每次路过它们，我几乎都手捧单词本或速记本，象征知识的烫金色雕塑和挥洒青春汗水的洁净塑胶跑道都与我无关，永恒的智慧和健康与我无关。它们在虚化的背景板里。

《风犬少年的天空》剧照

　　那些年，很多学校借鉴衡水模式，比如课间跑操。令我头疼的是，跑步时不能像走路那样一边背书。每周一早晨的升旗仪式，意味着少做半张卷子。高三时每周六下午放学，打车回家的三十块钱不能省，挤公交也许会损失宝贵的三十分钟。

　　南方的冬天，里三层外三层地坐在没有暖气的教室里，手指冻得梆硬，下笔速度必然受影响。唯一的暖水袋交替捏在手里。在教室里坐一整天再起身，仿佛初学步，双脚麻得失去知觉。最冷的时候，为了节省早上穿衣服的时间，偶尔睡觉会不脱裤子与毛衣，从打着冷颤的凌冽清晨跳起来，枕头下还垫着昨晚背着背着背睡着的考点小册。

　　高二上学期结束前，我自学完了三年文科科目知识，准确来说，叫做“考点”。剩下的时间，全部留给有针对性的重复训练，建立起对固定题型的肌肉记忆。到了高三，主科老师默许我可以不听课，按照自己的节奏刷题。我开始享受笔先于脑的感受，最丝滑的时候，四十分钟可以完成一张文科数学卷。后来高考的时候，我的确用了近一个半小时来反复检查。

《盛夏未来》剧照

　　校门口有一个神秘的大爷，他永远比其他教辅书店先一步拿到各大厂家的新题集，摆摊三天就可以卖完。我自然是第一时间买走的那批学生，买回来的新题与真题，就像冰淇淋那样紧迫地吸引着我。得抓紧时间写，否则就要融化。那天接下来所有的时间，我大概率会不吃不喝，把它们全部过一遍，了熟于心后，再耐下心来，重复那些其实已经被重复无数次的题型。

　　重复是保证正确率的要义。我对此深信不疑。同一类题，重复犯错不要紧，但当重复的次数达到一定程度，就会形成肌肉记忆。相较于答案，出题人想考什么更重要。在数学与历史这两科尤为明显，背后的出题人就像一个精于伪装的AI，足量的数据能让你对付他。而妄图掌握作文答卷技巧，我甚至尝试过每天晚上“刷”一篇800字作文。

　　离开高考十年后回望这些“努力”，不禁汗流浃背。汗颜于自己惊人的耐力，也感慨于人生恐怕再也找不到一个阶段如此笃信“努力”，再也回不到对延迟满足理论的那般深信不疑。

《少年班》剧照

　　现在，努力不叫努力，叫“卷”。而这个字通往的并不是任何一种可望见的终点，相较于此，人们更乐意谈论当下想要怎样的生活。

　　回头看，当年那份对于效率的信仰，其实常常短视且自相矛盾。比如，高考的几个月前，几所高校来学校里自主招生，我不为所动，因为他们的讲座与宣传会薅去我多刷两张试卷的时间。

　　“学霸”与“学神”是不一样的，这在今天依然可以是某种隐秘的共识。前者靠“努力”，后者靠“头脑”。我暗中羡慕班上那些正常吃饭睡觉、正常听课与作业的高分学生。他们不必非得靠磨出老茧的手指和写到两眼昏花的漫桌试卷来拿分。他们看起来总是自如，用今天的话来说，这叫做“松弛感”。

　　相较于“努力”，“松弛”在今天似乎的确更受推崇。前者意味着紧绷，意味着患得患失，意味着随时可能进入争与好斗的状态。哪怕他们是无意的。后者则意味着稳定的精神状态与情绪价值，意味着兼顾优绩的实现与人的存在本身，令人歆羡。

　　前不久采访一位农村出身且以此为研究对象的教育学者，如今身为大学教授的他，通过自己女儿的经验发现，现在的中小学教材，更侧重学生的理解能力而非答题能力。具体如何体现在分值上，我不得而知，但他颇为感慨：“我们那些年（80-90年代）的主流价值观‘努力’，如今好像更多被‘毫不费力’取代。”

　　数年后，我在大学里遇到来自北京上海的学生，惊讶地得知他们的高中竟然可以选修哲学与艺术，他们不会因为去博物馆和图书馆而感到愧疚，他们不会将“高考失败”与“人生失败”划上等号。

　　也有的学生，在专业和行业上早早依从父母的专业建议，或是全家人乃至几代的经验与资源。也有的父母早早盯准了一条少数人走的捷径，他们的孩子从中走出来，成为我们的同伴后，并不能理解我们所谈论的“卷”与“躺平”。

　　对我们这样的人而言，适当时候的反思似乎是必要的，或者说，是注定的。可种种对于人的异化的反思，对于效率至上的反思，竟然都被某种隐微的自豪掩盖了。

　　一个游戏的优胜者倒转头批判游戏规则似乎是不厚道的。而人会适时忘掉部分痛苦，就像女人生完孩子后忘记当时的疼痛，只留下对自己的感激与难以置信。据说这是一种自保机制。

　　25岁以后，我的胃病开始变得频繁，每年都要来上几次急性肠胃炎。最严重的一次给自己叫了凌晨四点的“120”。在颠簸的车上淌过没有星星的黎明，我不曾想起那千余个省掉晚饭的备考日子。过去与现在之间某些隐秘的联结，在不知不觉的时候悄悄断掉了。

　　离开高考后十年，我依然将“准时完成”和“最快交卷”之类的技能引以为傲。潜意识里，依然时刻想证明自己是一个合格品甚至是优秀品。我依然为闲暇感到羞耻，为低效感到自责。对批评玻璃心，对批评他人更是谨小慎微。

　　时间仍然是金钱，努力与奋斗仍然值得被赞扬和歌颂，这没什么好推翻的。作为一名社会科学领域的从业者，我似乎有义务批判环境对人的异化，有必要用社会经济学与哲学理论来证明努力论在今时今日的水土不服。

　　于是乎陷入这样的局面：一面用现代主义的怀疑论视角反思“优绩主义”，一面暗中知道自己内心深处仍是优绩主义的信徒，深藏着被落下的恐慌与忧虑。

　　我常为自己的愚钝而懊恼，为不够胆识去创新而沮丧。那些学生时代留下来的“技能”，更多只是一种痕迹，一种源自某个真空阶段的肌肉记忆。偶然的某些时刻，它会暴露出来，让社会情境里的人尴尬。可也仅仅是尴尬而已，保有适度的怅然和费解，是重拾内在秩序的某种必要。

　　不是午夜，而是某一天下午，临近傍晚，我从一个浑浊而寂寥的睡梦中惊醒，近视眼望见被窗帘筛出的黄昏，落日忽暗忽明。刚才的梦境里，我回到备战岁月，但成了一个特殊的备考生——我已提前获知了未来的去处，不需要高考成绩来进入大学。可不知为何，身处熟悉的场景里，我依然为高考紧锣密鼓，每一天依然紧迫慌张，悬梁刺股，视时如命。

《青春派》剧照

　　在回到过去的梦里，唯一擅长的还是解题与破题。醒来后惊魂未定，手中没有试卷，只有一把虚汗，竟觉得空落落的。睁开眼，生活中还有更复杂的难题等着。职业瓶颈期到底存不存在？要不要买房？在感受不到与年少时同等分量的热情前提下，要不要做一件事？比如，在没有充分激励的情况下，要不要继续做喜欢的事？不再有那么明晰的勇气和激情的时候，要不要去爱一个人？

　　这是没有答案和时限的考场——用“考场”来作比喻希望不会太浅俗，在熟悉的场域里，陌生一次次发生。而在陌生的旅程中，我们一次次遇到暧昧不清的考题。

　　只是再也猜不透出题人的心。

　　高考把我们送到了一个位置上，高考中的胜利者可能会有一个更好的起点，但最终，人生怎么跑下去，希望还在自己，不在考试。

译文：

The 2024 college entrance examination has come to an end.

But the shadow of the college entrance examination will not disappear in life thereafter.

For example, many years have passed, and I still dream of the college entrance examination, the hardships before the exam, and the anxiety in the exam room.

The photo scene posted by the high school teacher seems familiar: on a tree shade after rain, high school freshmen and sophomores wearing familiar school uniforms stand on both sides, stretching out big red banners to cheer on the high school seniors who run by holding flags in the middle.

My cousin sent photos of her two children reading and doing homework, with the caption "Work hard, you will reap rewards!" The children attend elementary school and kindergarten respectively, with homework from unknown sources every day. They also attend four or five extracurricular tutoring classes on weekends. My cousin often posts such moments on social media, with accompanying articles revolving around a few key words: "Work hard" and "Keep going". It's both a boost for the child and a boost for herself.

You should know that when an ordinary mother from a non Beijing, Shanghai, Guangzhou middle class area decides to be a "chicken child", the biggest challenge is her own physical strength.

Bilingualism should be taught from a young age, even if schools do not teach it, parents must be aware of it. Every day, a few ancient poems make up many. The homework assigned by foreign teachers is not only for children, but also for parents. To cultivate more skills, even if one cannot expect academic success in the future, the habit of lifelong learning and the development of interests are more important.

As a mother born in 1985 who keeps up with the trend of the times, my cousin is well aware of the benefits of encouraging education. She is good at discovering the strengths of children and is also good at giving rewards and recognition at appropriate times - especially when visible efforts bring good grades.

My cousin is well aware of the benefits of encouraging education/The stills of "Little Joy"/My cousin is well aware of the benefits of encouraging education/The stills of "Little Joy"

Good grades are a necessity on a predictable track. What is ahead is the possible diversion of the middle school entrance examination in more than a decade, and what may be faced in more years is not going to university. Just a few days ago, Zhang Xuefeng, a renowned graduate teacher who switched to volunteer guidance, said in a speech, "Now the middle school entrance examination is harder than the college entrance examination!"

Guan Guan feels sad. The world is in flux, and people have no other way of self consistency than finding their own value through new game rules. But what remains unchanged is that efforts must be made at any stage, and children from ordinary families still cannot give up the temptation of this truth: "Efforts may not necessarily yield results, but not working hard will definitely not yield results.".

In my family, "hard work" is a golden belief passed down from generation to generation. That is a creed that has no other choice and has been verified countless times by experience. By striving to live a good life, buying a house, and sending children abroad to study, these are all things that the mother generation has continuously practiced. In the past decade, a vivid example is me, a good student who is silent and stable, saves money and worries to be admitted to a prestigious school.

Just a few days ago, on the eve of the college entrance examination, my mother inexplicably pulled out some old photos, which were my college entrance examination scores and admission notices from back then. The camera was shaking and the focus was blurry, as if taking them in an extremely excited mood. She is extremely proud of her cherished self: "I keep it all.".

The college entrance examination is almost ten years ago, but there are still too many scenes in my mind that are not like dreams, but as vivid as yesterday: at least three sets of fresh test papers are assigned to me every day; Countless lunches that rely on Nestle cans instead of lunch breaks; A lunch resolved within ten minutes; Sitting in a seat with bread and milk instead of dinner in the evening of three years; I have never given myself three years of weekends and holidays; There are still over a thousand campus mornings in which the night has not faded. Cold and summer come and go, three years merge into one day, but in fact, they never really go far away.

The high school I was in back then was the best in the province, with a beautiful environment, mountains and water, beds and tables, and a rich cafeteria. It takes twenty minutes to walk from the dormitory to the teaching area, with a long ramp in the middle. On the left is the sparsely populated library building, and on the right is the largest playground in the school. For three years, every time I passed by them, I almost always held a vocabulary book or shorthand book in my hand. The golden sculptures symbolizing knowledge and the clean plastic tracks sweating with youth had nothing to do with me, and eternal wisdom and health had nothing to do with me. They are in the blurred background board.

The stills of "The Sky of the Wind Dog Boy" and "The Sky of the Wind Dog Boy"

In those years, many schools borrowed the Hengshui model, such as running exercises during breaks. What gives me a headache is that I can't recite while running like walking. The flag raising ceremony every Monday morning means taking half of the exam paper less. In my third year of high school, every Saturday afternoon after school, I couldn't save 30 yuan by taking a taxi home. Squeezing the bus may cost me valuable 30 minutes.

In the winter of the south, sitting in a classroom without heating on the inner and outer floors, my fingers are frozen hard, and my writing speed is inevitably affected. The only warm water bag is alternately held in hand. Sitting in the classroom for a whole day before getting up, as if learning to walk, my feet numb and unconscious. At the coldest time, in order to save time getting dressed in the morning, I occasionally sleep without taking off my pants and sweater. I jump up from the chilly morning with shivers on my back, and there is also a test book under my pillow that I slept on my back last night.

Before the end of the first semester of my sophomore year, I had self-taught three years of knowledge in humanities subjects, which, to be precise, was called the "exam point". The remaining time is reserved for targeted repetitive training to establish muscle memory for fixed question types. In my third year of high school, the subject teacher tacitly allowed me to skip class and practice questions at my own pace. I began to enjoy the feeling of a pen before my brain, and at its smoothest moment, I could complete a math paper for humanities in forty minutes. Later on, during the college entrance examination, I did spend nearly an hour and a half repeatedly checking.

The stills of "Summer Future" and "Summer Future"

At the entrance of the school, there is a mysterious old man who always gets the new problem sets from major manufacturers one step ahead of other teaching aid bookstores. He can sell them out in three days by setting up a stall. I am naturally the first batch of students who bought it at the first time, and the new and real questions I bought back are as urgent as ice cream, attracting me. We need to hurry up and write, otherwise it will melt. For all the time that followed that day, I would probably skip eating or drinking, go through them all, become familiar with them, and then patiently repeat the question types that have actually been repeated countless times.

Repetition is the key to ensuring accuracy. I have no doubt about it. It doesn't matter if you repeat mistakes in the same type of question, but when the number of repetitions reaches a certain level, it will form muscle memory. Compared to the answer, what the question setter wants to test is more important. This is particularly evident in mathematics and history, where the question setter behind it is like an AI skilled in disguise, with sufficient data to deal with him. I even try to "brush" an 800 word essay every night in an attempt to master my essay answering skills.

Looking back at these "efforts" ten years after leaving the college entrance examination, I couldn't help but sweat profusely. Sweat at at my amazing endurance, and also lament that I may never find a stage in life again. I believe so deeply in "hard work" and never again have the same unwavering belief in the theory of delayed gratification.

Still photos of "Youth Class" and "Youth Class"

Now, hard work is not called hard work, it is called "rolling". And this word does not lead to any visible end, compared to this, people are more willing to talk about what kind of life they want in the present.

Looking back, the belief in efficiency back then was often short-sighted and contradictory. For example, a few months before the college entrance examination, several universities came to the school to recruit students independently, and I was not moved because their lectures and promotions would take away the time I had to study two more test papers.

The distinction between "academic achievers" and "academic gods" can still be a hidden consensus today. The former relies on effort, while the latter relies on the mind. I secretly envy those high scoring students in the class who eat and sleep normally, listen to classes and do homework normally. They don't have to rely on fingers that have worn calluses and desk papers that are blurry to score. They always seem effortless, in today's terms, it's called a sense of relaxation.

Compared to "hard work", "relaxation" seems to be more respected today. The former means tightness, worries about gains and losses, and the possibility of entering a state of conflict and aggression at any time. Even if they were unintentional. The latter means a stable mental state and emotional value, which means balancing the achievement of excellence with human existence itself, which is admirable.

Not long ago, I interviewed an education scholar from a rural background who is currently a university professor. Through his daughter's experience, he found that current primary and secondary school textbooks focus more on students' understanding ability rather than answering questions. I don't know exactly how it will be reflected in the score, but he is quite emotional: "The mainstream values we put in effort in those years (1980s -1990s) seem to be more easily replaced now."

A few years later, I met students from Beijing and Shanghai in college, and was surprised to learn that their high school offered elective courses in philosophy and art. They didn't feel guilty about going to museums and libraries, and they didn't equate "college entrance exam failure" with "life failure".

Some students also follow their parents' professional advice or the experience and resources of their families and even generations in their majors and industries at an early stage. Some parents have also set their sights on a shortcut taken by a few people early on, and their children, after coming out and becoming our companions, cannot understand what we are talking about as "rolling" and "lying flat".

For people like us, timely reflection seems necessary, or rather, destined. However, all kinds of reflections on human alienation and efficiency supremacy have been concealed by some faint pride.

It seems unfair for the winner of a game to turn around and criticize the game rules. And people will timely forget some of the pain, just like a woman forgetting the pain after giving birth, leaving only gratitude and disbelief for herself. It is said that this is a self-protection mechanism.

After the age of 25, my stomach problems began to become more frequent, and I had to suffer from acute gastroenteritis several times a year. The most serious time was when I called myself "120" at 4am. Drifting through the bumpy car with a starless dawn, I never remembered those over a thousand days of preparing for exams without dinner. Some hidden connections between the past and the present have quietly broken off without realizing it.

Ten years after leaving the college entrance examination, I still take pride in skills such as "completing tasks on time" and "submitting papers as quickly as possible.". Subconsciously, I still constantly want to prove that I am a qualified or even excellent product. I still feel ashamed of my leisure time and self blame for inefficiency. Be cautious and cautious when criticizing others.

Time is still money, effort and struggle are still worthy of praise and praise, and there is nothing to overturn. As a practitioner in the field of social sciences, it seems that I have an obligation to criticize the alienation of the environment towards humans, and it is necessary to use socio-economic and philosophical theories to prove that the theory of hard work is not accepted in today's context.

So I fell into a situation where, on the one hand, I reflected on "meritocracy" from a modernist skeptical perspective, and on the other hand, I secretly knew that deep down in my heart, I was still a follower of meritocracy, harboring the panic and worry of being left behind.

I often feel regretful for my foolishness and discouraged for not having the courage to innovate. The "skills" left by those student years are more of a trace, a muscle memory originating from a certain vacuum stage. Occasionally, at certain moments, it can be exposed, making people in social situations awkward. It's just awkwardness, maintaining a moderate level of melancholy and confusion is a necessary way to regain inner order.

It's not midnight, but one afternoon, approaching evening, I woke up from a murky and lonely dream. With my nearsighted eyes, I could see the dusk filtered out by the curtains, and the setting sun flickered in and out. In my dream just now, I returned to my preparation years, but became a special candidate - I had already learned in advance where I would go in the future and did not need my college entrance exam scores to enter university. For some unknown reason, despite being in a familiar setting, I still work hard for the college entrance examination, feeling anxious and anxious every day, constantly anticipating the moment.

"Youth Faction" still photo "Youth Faction" still photo

In the dream of returning to the past, the only thing I excel at is problem-solving and problem-solving. After waking up, my soul was still in shock. I had no test paper in my hand, only a weak sweat, and I felt empty. Open your eyes, there are more complex challenges waiting in life. Does the career bottleneck period really exist? Do you want to buy a house? Should I do something without feeling the same level of enthusiasm as when I was young? For example, should one continue to do what they enjoy without sufficient motivation? When there is no longer such clear courage and passion, should we love someone?

This is an exam room with no answer or time limit - using "exam room" as a metaphor, I hope it won't be too vulgar. In a familiar field, unfamiliarity occurs time and time again. In the unfamiliar journey, we encounter ambiguous and unclear exam questions time and time again.

I just can't guess the heart of the question setter anymore.

The college entrance examination has put us in a position. The winner of the exam may have a better starting point, but in the end, how life goes, hope still lies in oneself, not in the exam.

句子分析1：

I never remembered those over a thousand days of preparing for exams without dinner. 

句子成分分析：

I never remembered those [over a thousand days (of preparing for exams [without dinner])].

句子语法结构详解：

* remembered 为谓语，采用一般过去时。
* preparing 为动名词，作介词宾语。
* I 为人称代词主格。those 为指示代词。

相关语法知识:
   时态
   动名词
   人称代词 | 指示代词

句子相关词汇解释：

Phrase:

Vocabulary:

句子语法错误检查：

(未发现错误)

句子分析2：

  I still constantly want to prove that I am a qualified or even excellent product. 

句子成分分析：

I still constantly want to prove | that I am a qualified or even excellent product.

句子语法结构详解：

* want 为谓语，采用一般现在时。
* to prove 为不定式，作宾语。
* that 为连词，引导宾语从句。
* am 为系动词作谓语，采用一般现在时。
* I 为人称代词主格。a 为不定冠词。

相关语法知识:
   时态
   不定式
   宾语从句
   系动词
   并列连词
   人称代词

句子相关词汇解释：

Vocabulary:

句子语法错误检查：

(未发现错误)

句子相关学习点：

 still 和 yet 的区别

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