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新闻原文：

1

一位朴素老太太，背包进银行，要存50万美金，总裁在VIP室接待。

总裁：您老一生的积蓄？

老太太：哪里？我豪赌为生，逢赌必赢，刚赢的！

总裁：“不可能！”

老太太：“那就赌一把吧，明早你的屁股上会出现一个三角形的胎记，赌注就这50万！”

总裁狐疑不决，望着一袋现钞，决定应赌。

老太太走后，总裁回到家对着镜子检查了好几遍，没有任何胎记，直到第二天约定时间，再到VIP室。

老太太早到，旁边站着一个穿着考究的律师。

老太太：今天律师作证检查你的屁股。

总裁：“真是没有胎记，更别提三角形的”。随后脱下裤子，让他们检查屁股…

老太太看看：“果然没有，我输了”。

这时律师脸色铁青，不停以头撞墙，总裁大惊。律师：“她刚与我赌150万，说您会当面脱裤子让她看你屁股！”

这个段子在金融圈中其实叫“风险对冲”。在投资组合中举足轻重，我们在做投资时不能只纠结于单个资产的表现，而忽略了资产之间的相关性，有时候一个资产的损失反过来会导致另一个资产获利，以全局来看，整个投资组合是获利的。永远记住，组合的收益才是我们的最终目的，考虑好资产的相关性，做好对冲。

2

一位富豪到华尔街银行借了5000元贷款，借期为两周，银行贷款须有抵押，他用停在门口的劳斯莱斯做抵押。银行职员将他的劳斯莱斯停在地下车库里，然后借给富豪5000元。两周后富豪来还钱，利息共15元，银行职员发现富豪账上有几千万美元，问为啥还要借钱。富豪说：15元两周的停车场，在华尔街是永远找不到的。

看完这个故事，是不是明白为什么富豪能成为富豪了？这个段子背后蕴含的道理是：固定资产放在一边闲置会发生减值和仓储成本，抵押资产却可以帮助我们降低融资成本。

3

有一个菜鸟问：“什么是投行?”

前辈拿了一些烂水果问他：“你打算怎么把这些水果卖出去?”

菜鸟想了半天说：“我按照市场价打折处理掉。”

这位前辈摇头，拿起一把水果刀，把烂水果去皮切块，弄个漂亮的水果拼盘：“这样，按照几十倍的价格卖掉”。

这个段子比较幽默的诠释了“投行”的运营方式。在投资中，垃圾债是人们嗤之以鼻的投资品。但是如果你有了解过CFA，就会发现这里面的赚钱机会。

投行会把所有的垃圾债集中在一起，成本很低，就像烂水果一样，将它们打包成资产证券化产品（ABS），之后把他们与产生的现金流集中在一起，一部分做成一些投资级债券，然后把他们卖出一个好价钱，另一部分做成更烂的垃圾债自留，期待获得少部分意外的收益。

4

经济学大师弗里德曼最早说出“没有免费的午餐”这句话。它的本义是即使你不用付钱吃饭，可你还是要付出代价的。因为你吃这顿饭的时间，可以用来做其他事情，比如谈一笔100万的生意，你把时间用于吃这顿饭，就失去了这些本来能有的价值。

这是“机会成本”的概念，以前你知道吗?我们在做投资理财的时，你的收益率并不是你所获得的全部收益，收益率一定是基于固定的Benchmark。

举个例子，如果你拿出1000元投资股市，到期收获1100元，但是如果你把这笔钱用于投资国债，到期会获得1040，你为了投资股市而放弃投资国债，这样你的收益率就不是10%，而是基于4%的Benchmark，你的机会成本40元（4%），此时你的收益率为6%。

5

一位8岁的女孩拿着三角钱来到瓜园买瓜。

瓜农见她钱太少，便想糊弄小姑娘离开，指着一个未长大的小瓜说：“三角钱只能买到那个小瓜”。

女孩答应了，兴高采烈的把钱递给瓜农。

瓜农很惊讶：“这个瓜还没熟，你要它怎么吃呢?”

女孩：“交上钱这瓜就属于我了，等瓜长大熟了我再来取吧。”

新闻译文：

A simple old lady, carrying a backpack into the bank, needs to deposit 500000 US dollars. The president is receiving her in the VIP room. President: What is your lifelong savings? Old lady: Where? I make a living by gambling recklessly, I win every time I bet, just won! President: "Impossible!" The old lady: "Then let's take a gamble. Tomorrow morning, there will be a triangular birthmark on your buttocks, and the bet is only 500000!" The CEO hesitated and looked at a bag of cash, deciding to take a gamble. After the old lady left, the CEO returned home and checked in the mirror several times, without any birthmarks, until the agreed time the next day, and then went to the VIP room. The old lady arrived early, with a well dressed lawyer standing next to her. Old lady: Today, the lawyer testified to check your butt. President: "There is really no birthmark, let alone a triangle.". Then she took off her pants and asked them to check her buttocks... The old lady looked and said, "Sure enough, I lost.". At this moment, the lawyer's face turned pale and he kept banging his head against the wall, causing the CEO to be greatly surprised. Lawyer: "She just bet me 1.5 million and said you would take off your pants in front of her and show her your butt!" This joke is actually called "risk hedging" in the financial industry. In an investment portfolio, we play a crucial role. When making investments, we cannot only focus on the performance of individual assets and ignore the correlation between assets. Sometimes, the loss of one asset can lead to the profit of another asset. Overall, the entire investment portfolio is profitable. Always remember that the returns of a portfolio are our ultimate goal, consider the correlation of assets, and do a good job of hedging.

A wealthy man borrowed a loan of 5000 yuan from a Wall Street bank for a period of two weeks. The bank loan requires collateral, and he used a Rolls Royce parked at the door as collateral. The bank staff parked his Rolls Royce in the underground garage and lent it to the billionaire for 5000 yuan. Two weeks later, the rich man came to repay the money with a total interest of 15 yuan. The bank staff found that the rich man had tens of millions of dollars in his account and asked why he still needed to borrow money. The billionaire said: A 15 yuan two week parking lot will never be found on Wall Street. After reading this story, do you understand why billionaires can become wealthy? The truth behind this joke is that leaving fixed assets idle can lead to impairment and warehousing costs, while collateral assets can help us reduce financing costs.

A newbie asked, "What is an investment bank?" The senior took some rotten fruits and asked him, "How do you plan to sell these fruits?" The newbie thought for a while and said, "I will sell them at a discount according to the market price." The senior shook his head, picked up a fruit knife, peeled and cut the rotten fruits into pieces, and made a beautiful fruit platter. "In this way, sell them at a price several tens of times.". This joke humorously illustrates the operational methods of "investment banks". In investment, junk bonds are a product that people scoff at. But if you have knowledge of CFA, you will discover the profit opportunities within it. Investment banks will gather all their junk bonds together at a low cost, just like rotten fruits, packaging them into asset securitization products (ABS), and then combine them with the generated cash flow. Some of them will be turned into investment grade bonds, and then they will sell them at a good price, while the other part will be turned into even worse junk bonds for retention, hoping to receive a small amount of unexpected returns.

The economist Friedman was the first to say "there is no free lunch". Its original meaning is that even if you don't have to pay for food, you still have to pay the price. Because the time you spend eating this meal can be used for other things, such as negotiating a 1 million business deal. If you use your time to eat this meal, you lose the value that could have been there. Do you know the concept of "opportunity cost" before? When we are doing investment and financial management, your rate of return is not the full return you have received, and the rate of return is always based on a fixed benchmark. For example, if you invest 1000 yuan in the stock market, you will get 1100 yuan at maturity, but if you invest this money in treasury bond, you will get 1040 yuan at maturity. You give up investing in treasury bond in order to invest in the stock market, so your yield is not 10%, but based on 4% Benchmark. Your opportunity cost is 40 yuan (4%), and your yield is 6%.

An 8-year-old girl came to the melon garden with a triangular coin to buy melons. The farmer saw that she had too little money and wanted to trick the little girl into leaving. He pointed to an immature little melon and said, "Triangle money can only buy that little melon.". The girl agreed and happily handed the money to the melon farmer. The melon farmer was surprised and said, "This melon is not yet ripe. How do you want it to be eaten?" The girl said, "Pay the money and this melon belongs to me. I will pick it up when the melon is ripe."

句子分析1：

When making investments, we cannot only focus on the performance of individual assets and ignore the correlation between assets. 

句子成分分析：

When making investments, || we cannot only focus on the performance (of individual assets) and ignore the correlation [between assets].

句子语法结构详解：

(cannot = can not)

* when 为连词，引导时间状语从句。
* making 为现在分词。
* we 开头为陈述句。
* focus 为谓语。
* ignore 为谓语。
* can 为情态动词。we 为人称代词主格。the 为定冠词。

相关语法知识:
   状语从句
   现在分词
   并列连词
   人称代词 | 情态动词

句子相关词汇解释：

Phrase:

Vocabulary:

句子语法错误检查：

(未发现错误)

句子相关学习点：

 as, when, while 的区别
 can 与 be able to 的区别
 between 和 among 的区别

句子分析2：

When we are doing investment and financial management, your rate of return is not the full return you have received, and the rate of return is always based on a fixed benchmark.

句子成分分析：

When we are doing investment and financial management, || your rate (of return) is not the full return (you have received), || and the rate (of return) is [always] based on a fixed benchmark.

句子语法结构详解：

* when 为连词，引导时间状语从句。
* doing 为谓语，采用现在进行时。
* your 开头为陈述句。
* 第1个 is 为系动词作谓语，采用一般现在时。
* you 开头为定语从句，引导词 that 被省略。
* received 为谓语，采用现在完成时。
* 第2个 and 为并列连词，连接并列句。
* 第2个 is 为系动词作谓语，采用一般现在时。
* based 为形容词作表语。
* you 为人称代词。we 为人称代词主格。your 为形容词型物主代词。are, have 为助动词。the 为定冠词。a 为不定冠词。

相关语法知识:
   状语从句
   时态
   并列连词
   系动词
   定语从句
   表语
   人称代词 | 助动词 | 物主代词

句子相关词汇解释：

Phrase:

Vocabulary:

句子语法错误检查：

(未发现错误)

句子相关学习点：

 as, when, while 的区别

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